Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We named our party play list daddy issues
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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