He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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