I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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