I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
