we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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