So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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