ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
