In the future we'll all be gay
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
