you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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