Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
