I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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