The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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