using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
