There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
