I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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