I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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