so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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