I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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