All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
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the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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