She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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