Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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