When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
