Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
