i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
