Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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