weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
