we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So squirting runs in the family.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
