But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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