No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize