I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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