The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Couch. On fire.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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