i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
