i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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