the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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