Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
