don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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