Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
cat food counts as protein by the way
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
