You made me cry and you don't even care
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
