She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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