Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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