dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
