Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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