You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
