Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
