does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
