Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm sobbing to NWA
My life is pants optional.
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