There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
