why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
