yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
