We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't put those talents on a resume
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They are going to name an STD after you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
