You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I fill condoms, not promises.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
