to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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