but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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