Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize