the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
