But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Drake has all the answers
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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