i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
