you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
