New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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