His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
