its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
