the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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